Millennials Ruin Everything: Disney Edition

I have said before and I still stand by it: Some childless couples who go to Disney are weird. 

By that I mean I know a lot of weird people who are obsessed with Disney and don’t want to expand their horizons. That leads me to shamefully agree with some of that Rick Sanchez-toned op ed inspired by an unhinged Angry Wine Mom FB rant. To be clear, conservative op eds and Angry Wine Moms are like my two least favorite things on the planet. But I do agree that Disney people need to expand their horizons a little. 

Before you’re all like MEGAN HATES JOY just give me a second to explain:

I used to have a friend we’ll call Bleminda Mouse who was a huge Disney Girl.  When I started hanging out with Bleminda, I thought she was fun and outgoing but over time I realized our friendship only revolved around Disney-related things: going to the mall with the end goal being the Disney store where she would spend hours dancing and singing and fondling the stuffed animals and dolls, going to the movies but we would only see Disney movies. Halloween parties were just an excuse for Bleminda to dress up like a Disney character. She swooned and swanned around all lonely hearts club saying Disney gave her an “unrealistic expectation of love” while turning down dates with actually decent guys.

Yeah. She was one of those Disney Girls. 

She started backing out of doing things based on what was on the Disney Channel. She scheduled her classes around reruns of Kim Possible and That’s so Raven. Did I mention she was 23?

She was resistant to do basically anything adult after a while and when one of her college classes required her to go to Paris for a month and she was beyond livid at being “forced” to go. To Paris. This was before Ratatouille came out, obviously. 

It became hard to be friends with Bleminda because it wasn’t a rewarding friendship; most of her other friends were cartoon characters. It was frustrating.

Now she’s married to another obvious Disney person and last year they went to Disney six times, after a Disney themed wedding and a Disney honeymoon. Last I knew she had a distinctly stressful job and, from the looks of it, grew up and is willing to work an adult schedule regardless of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody reruns.

But she’s a weirdo who connects with problematic children’s characters on a deep emotional level.

Who wouldn’t want to take a shot at someone like that. She’s an adult without kids who goes to amusement parks for vacation.

So what?

I’m not her mom or her landlord so she can spend her money any fucking way she wants. 

To be honest, I don’t like Disney Girls. They suck the air out of the room talking about cartoons and stupid shit I hardly remember and mostly refuse to participate in things they’re not interested in. They’re kind of immature around the edges and a little weird in their slavish devotion to a corporate entity. 

But you know who else dominates conversations, refuses to participate in things they’re not interested in, talks about shit other people don’t care about, are kind of immature around the edges and a little weird in their slavish devotion to a corporate entity?

Sports fans.

Who are mostly dudes.

Who nobody seems to be writing intense Facebook posts about how millennial sports fans ruin sporting events or eagerly penning bandwagon op eds about them to fit their confirmation bias about millennials. 

I’m starting to see an equation in bitching about millennials to have an underlying theme to be bitching about women.

And while I do not like Disney not paying their employees a living wage and living a life that inspires this kind of decor makes me want to jump in a pit of used hypodermic needles, my feminism is intersectional and includes room for Disney Girls. 

So Bibbidi-Bobbidi-back the fuck up and on millennial women because we’re exhausted and sick of everyone’s shit.