Trigger Warning
I had a conversation recently in which someone said “don’t be triggered (about the topic), just listen to what the other person has to say.”
In my grown-up job I work with therapists. In another life, I worked with therapy clients, medical, and mental health patients.
I have seen people be triggered.
I have been triggered.
In this instance, this person was misusing the word to mean “annoyed” or “irritated.” In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya:
You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.
The term “triggered” is misused and I’m here to help you with Don’t Be an Asshole 101: Trigger Warning.
In medical and mental health practices, the term means:
“An external events or circumstances that may produce very uncomfortable emotional or psychiatric symptoms, such as anxiety, panic, discouragement, despair, or negative self-talk.” You can find the rest of the article here.
The medical definition is:
“something (as a specific act or stimulus) that in interaction with the body constitutes a physiological trigger.”
You can read that definition here.
Triggered does not mean “ irrationally annoyed” or “butthurt for attention”. If you’re having a conversation in which you know the topics are going to annoy or upset someone on purpose, you’re a giant gaping butthole and you should work on yourself. I’m not going to discuss the myriad of ways and reasons people can be triggered and reminded of their trauma, but I deeply hope if one of your friends was mugged, you wouldn’t talk about mugging in front of them every time you see them, ask them about it, or deliberately wear the same cologne as their mugger or whatever. It’s upsetting; it triggers memories of a chemical response/fight or flight and puts their body back in that chemical response. It stands to reason they’d be hurt, scared, or upset by being reminded of a traumatic event.
Colloquially, we like to misuse mental health terms all the time:
“She’s so OCD.”
“Ugh, my new boss is bipolar.”
“This chick is a total psycho.”
OCD is a difficult and life-altering behavioral disorder, so is bipolar disorder, and having seen several psychotic episodes myself, it’s not funny or interesting. It’s terrifying for the person experiencing it.
Misusing “triggered” to mean annoyed or irritated is like saying “oh my god, she was so dilated after that conversation.”
Uncomfortable and weird, yes?
If you’re not sure you should use the word “triggered”, replace it with another very specific medical or clinical term and if it makes you squick out, stop using any of those words in that context.
Examples:
Wow, he’s being totally prolapsed about this.
Don’t talk about that around Jane, she’ll go totally engorged on you and make it about her.
Gross. Weird. Uncomfortable.
To sum up:
Stop using a valid clinical/medical term to justify treating someone badly or being rude in conversation.
